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Thursday, May 21, 2009


I went to a Hindu temple on Tuesday, and I'm going back this week. The Swami was this little man swathed in melon-colored robes talking about joy and pain and how if you touch a pan and say "the pan burned me" it's not really the pan that burns you, it's the fire. There's a part of us called Sakshi, which is like a witness, and is always neutral (like the pan)...So say I quit smoking and I am going crazy and can't sleep and only want to cry and eat mango spears, that's my body coloring my Sakshi. So I am not in pain. My body is. And that's what's keeping me in alignment right now so I'm sticking to it.

Sometimes a performer is trying to enter at neutral but it's possible that she had a boot on her car earlier that day and had to pay a huge fine and now what you're seeing at a comedy show is more of a meltdown, but who are you to know, with your neutral Sakshi. But if she has a microphone she can try to gather the synapses as they fire and use them to heat some comedy brownies.

Sorry if I'm butchering these religious concepts. I'm still trying to grasp them. Oh, and also, after I left the Hindu temple I side-swiped a big metal pole and now I have a giant black scratch on the side of my car. A karmic scar. That sounds like a poem, "On the side of my car/A karmic scar..."

On the side of my car,
a Karmic scar. Now poised
by Griffith Park I arc
my back to eject
the nicotine gum set
deep in my psyche.

Oncoming antonyms
flash hazzards in my throat,
engraving my lungs
with one final honk,
one more thing
that can't get around me.

So here's a fun game. Watch this video where I'm going crazy under a gold comedy mask and see if you can pick out the times I....

1. Can't formulate a sentence
2. Offend the Japanese culture
3. Pick my nose
4. Apologize to the guy who booked me for saying the F-word which was the one word we agreed I would not say.
5. Ask a man if he's pregnant.
6. Say I don't like music.
7. Tell a woman her name reminds me of arms like chicken wings.

(And that's not me smiling. It's the gold theater mask infusing my Sakshi. Not pictured: Tragedy mask. But it was there)

1 comment:

  1. This blog is amazing. (you and I sorta met at Tiger Lily a couple of weeks ago...I was on the line up and your were taping Mike's set. hi!)
    Sakshi is one's innate awareness that always resides within us. But sometimes it's just obscured by discontent, vomit, or the sugar buzz one can get from Pop Tarts. But it's always there. My sakshi says hi to your sakshi.